Writing The Second Draft

Documenting the Journey as I become who I want to be.

Results of Coming Out

So for those of you who’ve read my About page know, I am a trans man. As in transgender, as in I am currently in process of transitioning from female to male.

As I said on the about page I haven’t started to use T (Testosterone/hormones) and I haven’t had any corrective surgeries. To be honest I don’t know if T or surgery will even be an option for me because I have other health issues that affect my hormones and such. I barely saw my Endocrinologist (for my normal health issues I need a specialist) for the first time on the 6th. I decided to give my doctors some time to catch up on the main life-threatening issues before throwing this curveball at them. I don’t have a therapist yet but since mental health will be covered under the plan I got from the ACA I’ll be able to get one after the first of the year :3

So anyways I recently came out to my best friends and my parents.  My parents had mixed reactions but I wasn’t outright rejected so overall good I’d say.

My dad is kind of an open guy and knows a lot so I asked him if he knew what it was and he said that he knew of it. So then I just told him that that’s what I was. He kind of got quiet and didn’t really know what to say I guess. He did say it scared him, medically  speaking. I did tell him that I was already aware that I might not be able to medically transition. Then it just got quiet again. And we haven’t really talked about it since. Although I mentioned I was excited about cutting my hair (Which I have to wait until we get Christmas pics or something because SOMEONE(Pop’s gf) had to go and tell my gma I was gonna cut my hair.) he was concerned about me cutting it ‘really short’.  Which I guess by the expression on my face he guessed is what I was planning and he afterwards took back his remark with a chuckle saying “It’s your life” which still kinda hurt :T

My mother has been moderately okay with it. Better than she was when she found out I like women at the very least.  She still has her ways of keeping it ‘not real’ to herself though, saying things like since I can’t do it medically (She’s jumping to can’t when I haven’t even discussed it with my doctors yet.) and since I have a very round shape/figure that I won’t ever really look like a man and so she’s not going to treat me like one. Unless/until I look like one I guess. But she’s buying me more masculine looking clothes, even if she won’t explicitly shop from the men’s section yet. But when I told her I had to kind of really spell it out for her which made me very anxious and nervous. She didn’t know what Trans or Transgender meant so she really didn’t get it until I said “I want to transition to being male.” and her immediate and unapologetic response was “So… you want a dick?” and I died.

Overall it seems they took it pretty well though. Although it also seems they won’t refer to me with any sort of male terms until I look more male/masculine I guess. Which is fine, whatever. More motivation for me to get there sooner.

Haven’t told my siblings because they really won’t get it. I talked to my bro about gender stuff previously and he didn’t understand so I don’t expect him to now, as for my sister… well one day my bro’s gf and I were talking about trans stuff (before I realized but I’d made friends with some and I don’t know how we got on the subject. But she knows a lot and is a really cool person so anyways)then my brother comes by like freaking out a little and shushes us and tells us not to talk about that kind of thing with my sister nearby… So yeah. Not gonna tell her until I hafta :T.

So basically as far as family is concerned,  what I’m getting is that they aren’t going to assist in that portient of my life at all. But that’s what friends are for!

I also told my two best friends (The Artist and The Teacher) and both of them were pretty much unsurprised. The Teacher even went so far to tell me that she suspected for a long time but was waiting for me to bring it up. She kinda said the same thing when I came out about liking women. How does she keep knowing these things before I do dammit xD. So anyways they’re both very cool with it although it’s new and something I know they kinda gotta get used to.  But The Artist has agreed to go with me whenever I get my hair cut, and I already picked out what cut I want (She thoroughly approved as well haha) but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.  I’ll try to remember to take before & after pics for yall.

But overall I feel a lot better than I did before I told anyone. I was so nervous about it but things went pretty well after all. :3

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